Mindfulness exercises are a special type of relaxation technique that helps you stay in the present moment, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Worries about everyday issues and stresses can inhibit sexual enjoyment. By helping you stay in the present moment mindfulness has a positive impact on stress and anxiety in everyday life as well as in sexual situations.
Mindfulness exercises involve relaxation and breathing awareness that should be practised daily. For those who practice yoga or meditation will be familiar with the mindful breathing process where the focus is on awareness of body sensations. It is easy to become distracted during the mindfulness exercises and this is dealt with by acknowledging the distraction and returning to the exercise.
During mindfulness sexual practice, the distraction is often negative thoughts about fears about sexual performance (erection and ejaculation issues). When this happens bring your attention back to the nice sensations you are feeling rather than what you cannot achieve. Pleasure is absolutely possible without an erection or orgasm, these are not compulsory for sexual enjoyment.
Specific sexual mindfulness exercises can be done with a partner or by oneself. It is commenced with the mindfulness breathing exercises which clears the mind and helps reduce distraction and straying thoughts.
Physical stimulation involves experiencing pleasurable sensations through the entire body and not just the genitals. An erotic focus allows erotic sensations and feelings to be developed. Shift stimulation from the penis to other parts of the body and back to the penis again. Allow the erection to rise and fall – the experience of deliberately losing an erection in a sexually stimulating situation through these exercises allows you to stop being so anxious when loss of erection occurs. Being distracted or anxious when you lose your erection may inhibit your arousal and impair your ability to regain an erection. As you become more adept at these exercises your confidence that you can arouse yourself, get a firm erection, control ejaculation and stay calm if your penis goes down will improve.
The intention of this handout is for educational purpose only and not to be used as a guide for self-management. Consult with your specialist or GP.
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